Giving God a Helping Hand: Day 3

Have you ever started out in one direction only to find out that where you were supposed to go was the opposite way?
I had every intention of talking about consequences today. We are after all still living with the consequences of the birth of Ishmael. God, however had a totally different direction for me. One I was neither prepared for, nor interested in, but if my hearts desire is to be obedient to the Lover of my soul then I must follow Him where ever He leads me.
In my research for Genesis 16, God brought me to Galatians 4:21-31.
Paul was writing to a Church that like most of the that time (and many still today) were struggling with legalism. A group called the Judaizers were claiming that in order for the Gentiles to truly be saved they had to practice the Law. Essentially to become Jewish. Paul, however stands firm against this group and really all people who would force laws onto those who Christ had made free.
"It is for freedom that Christ had set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1
In chapter 4 Paul draws an interesting parallel between slavery and freedom and Hagar and Sarah.
"For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one by the slave woman and the other by the free woman. His son by the slave woman was born in the ordinary way; but his son by the free woman was born as the result of a promise." Galatians 5:22 & 23
Ishmael was the result of human effort. Abram and Sarai couldn't understand how God was going to give them a child and (most likely) in their most sincere and thoughtful consideration having a child through Hagar made sense. They were not willfully disobeying God, they simply thought they had the solution.
Any efforts we make apart from God is absolutely sin, however for many of us, we actually have good intentions, and are simply not waiting on God to show us His way. Many of us have created our own Ishmaels out of the best of intentions.
This is what God called me out on.
In the spring when I started this blog, I knew 100% that it was God's plan. He had been building it in my heart for years but it wasn't until spring that He had all the pieces fit and I stepped out in obedience. I loved it. From the first lesson to the last one I wrote in June before stopping to move, I enjoyed every moment of research, every word He led me to, even the days when the writing part didn't come easy I still loved it. God made it life giving, and I dove head first into it.
It didn't take me long to realize that my idea that I could maintain this blog while traveling or even once my daughter arrived was a bit of a fantasy though. I hadn't however occurred to me that I would just have to stop. So when the move came I had every intention of starting back up as soon as I was settled in my new home.
It had taken longer then I wanted it to, but 3 weeks ago I finally started posting again, but I knew instantly something was different. I love God's Word! I could spend hours or days even studying Scripture, it never gets boring or mundane for me. Yet as I started working on these last few lessons, my heart has been far from it. It has felt burdensome and I have been frustrated with the whole process. Even when I would pray for the words, the direction help of any sort, there was a hollowness. It took this lesson for me to realize that I this time, I have stepped out into this blog alone. This is not where God would have me right now.
I will freely admit that I'm disappointed. I have loved writing the lessons and I have loved teaching God's Word for over 10 years. But I am entering a season in my life where I need to step back, for now, from public ministries and focus on my own home.
I had hoped that I would make it to a somewhat reasonable stopping place but God has said no. Thankfully I trust that if you have been following this then your heart is to follow God and He will lead you to greener pastures and bless you richly for seeking His word.
I don't understand why God would have me start this blog only to end so soon, I am a bit confused as to His reasoning but I have no doubt about His will.
Maybe someday, possibly even sooner then I think, He will bring me back to this blog. Maybe He will transform it into something completely different. What I do know is that it has been a great privilege to teach His word, but obeying God is His highest will for me.
"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51:17
"If you love me, you will obey what I command." John 14:15